Those Drunken Gummy Bears! Always Makin’ Trouble!

Back in October, I read about teenagers getting drunk on vodka soaked gummy bears. (Really?) Actually, I thought it was quite inventive.

My sister and I used to toss bags of Haribo Gummy Bears (pretty much one of the only things I miss…and probably mainly for the bonding aspect) in the freezer. You’d suck on them and they’d last longer.

As we got older, soaking them in vodka? Never crossed my mind. And though she’s a fan of Jello shots, I’m pretty sure it never crossed her’s either.

If something like SKINS, with it’s drug and alcohol sopped storylines, is supposed to represent teen-dom, I think I probably failed as a teen…hell, I failed even at the comparatively PG-rated Dawson’s Creek portrayal of the teenage years.

“In my day…” you just drank the shit. In the rushed concern of “getting caught,” who has this kind of forethought? Curiosity’s gotten the better of me and I had to know the appeal.

Containing gelatin, Haribo are out of the question. So I went to the next closest substitute I’ve found: Annie’s Organic Fruit Snacks. (Not to be confused with the Organic Orchard Fruit Bites.) Annie’s aren’t exactly like my childhood favorite; they lack the powdery, flour feeling when you roll them around you tongue and they’re more slender but they do freeze and the have a good gummy give to them.

You can get a bag of Haribo for like $2; a box of Annie’s, which amounts to about half a bag of Haribo, runs about $5. This isn’t a cheap experiment. I doubt normal veg*ns, health-conscious and all, are really going to contemplate replicating. Right?

Without any how-to instruction, I just poured a couple shots of Smirnoff Raspberry flavored Vodka, vegan friendly according to Barnivore, into a bowl and dropped a pack of Annie’s bears in. Covered with plastic wrap and popped it in the fridge.

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By the morning, they had sopped up some of the vodka…and I could taste it, plus they were tacky and gross to handle. After a few days, still the same. Was this what kids were all up on? No way. Instead, I rescued the drowned little guys from the bowl, laid them out in a tin, covered them with foil and popped the silver tray in the frigid freezer where they lay like forgotten bodies in a morgue. (Watching too many crime dramas.)

When I pulled off the foil New Year’s Day, their faces were slightly smoothed, bodies fattened. ‘Oh, these can’t be any good…but they have been in the freezer…’ I had a nibble, taking of the little bear’s head. No vodka taste. The vodka keeps them from freezing hard; they’re gummy but not tacky.

I’m curious if there is a substantial difference using gelatin-containing gummy bears…but not enough to try, especially since I wouldn’t eat them.

In general, I’m kind of lazy. I still don’t understand how this could have become a trend prompting news coverage. They are tasty, but this requires forethought and patience; I’ve now found “how-to” articles and videos and one even notes to “resist the urge to taste test.” Too much to ask of me. Pour my vodka in some fruit juice and let’s call it a night.

If you do give these a go for yourself, here’s another helpful article. (I’ll save my time now on trying this with Swedish Fish; apparently a no go.) If you’re veg*n, unless you’re also loaded, there’s little likelihood you’ll afford to make enough to O.D. on these. However, for all who stumble upon this page, as always, consume responsibly.

And for the visual learners:

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2 thoughts on “Those Drunken Gummy Bears! Always Makin’ Trouble!

  1. I actually found your page while searching for a vegetarian version of vodka gummy bears. I was thinking about trying gelatin free fruit snacks. Good to know I’m not the only one!

  2. Nope, not the only one. In fact, I like drunken bears in the pool, so to speak, at the bottom of my wine glass πŸ™‚

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