It’s been about, well it was early May, so about 4 and a half months since I had the conversation with my coworker that prompted my jotting this down.
Management had ordered pizza and salad for us. It gets a little dicey when you’re given free food at work. There are two different mentalities that lock you in a vicious cycle: ‘beggars can’t be choosers’ and ‘don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.’ You’re not supposed to be picky but it’s awkward to say no…even with a thank you.
I asked a coworker if he knew what dressing was on the salad, since he’d been charged with ordering. My fingers were crossed for Italian or Balsamic. ‘Just please not Caesar.’
‘No it’s not Caesar. Not a fan?’
‘Can’t have it.’
‘It has anchovies or anchovy paste in it. So I don’t consider it vegetarian.’
‘Ew, anchovies. Yuck! I’m not eating it again. I hate anchovies.’
‘But if I’d never told you, you’d never have known, and it’s not like you noticed the tasted and didn’t like it.’
‘Yeah, but I’ll think about it now.’
Veg*ns, sound familiar. I’ve had the same conversation dozens of times over. I’ve sat with someone eating a burger, told them what of some other item with a beef product in it and they’ll get grossed out…but not the burger. Nope. They’ll still masticate they’re cow patty, like, well, a cow.
‘Hostess Cakes, yeah, I don’t eat those. They have beef fat in them.’
‘Oh, yeah, gelatin, no. And it’s in Frosted Mini Wheats and Full Size Altoids…really, items you might not even think about.’
‘Yeah, you’d think a baked potato would be safe, but when I went to order one at the Texas Roadhouse, dragged there for a family member’s birthday, the waitress told me they inject them with animal fat.’
‘Oh, love pizza, but a friend told me she went to a restaurant and couldn’t even get a pizza because they put duck fat in the crust.’
I hope you enjoyed this performance from A Life Vegetarian.
A friend sent me this post on Cracked.com. How about some whale vomit in your perfume? Yummy!
Please share your gross out moments!