I May Be a Vegetarian, But I Didn’t Switch Species

Professor McGonagall Cat Morph

Though I wish I had Professor McGonagall’s nack for transfiguration, when I decided to “Go Veg,” I didn’t transmutate into a turtle. So what’s with all the lettuce, damn it?!?!

One afternoon, I couldn’t resist the ease of grabbing a premade sandwich from a cold case. From Whole Foods, to Westerley, to Morton Williams, to Amish Market, many choices remain the same. I decided on this one by Natural Power-Fu.

I like lettuce, don’t get me wrong. Leafy greens of all kinds have a place on my plate and in my sandwiches. That said, everything in moderation please. The ones in pita don’t seem to have the same, um, problem.

My mother’s hypothesis: to make the sandwich look bigger. If you’re in the know before me, let me in; what’s with all the lettuce?

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