Yesterday, an article titled “Some of my best friends are vegetarian” by The Blurred Line caught my attention. It was Freshly Pressed on WordPress, so it apparently caught more than a few peoples’ attention. I was reading with a grain of salt at the cheeky rant–dotted with references to gas, moral superiority, and hatred towards brussel sprouts–meant to stir the pot and drum up traffic.

It was all good…ok it was really all bad but fine and typical…until:


My first reaction being ‘Seriously?’ I blinked and reread. I wasn’t hallucinating.

Well boys and girls, the jig is up. That person with Celiac is secretly just putting on a show to get down to a size 2. As for me? Well, after more than 9 years as a vegetarian, I just have to admit I’m a failure; I’ve lost no weight. Hardly seems worth it now. Who’s up for some steak and McNuggets?

Screw the worthless animals, the degradation to our planet, and the risk of disease.

Oh, wait…that’s right…it’s about more than just personal taste for (or against) food.

I’m not huge on tofu and, despite the fad, I’m not on the kale cart, but that does not mean I’m going to throw the baby out with the bathwater and abandon my lifestyle. From piggies to puppies, animal abuse is rampant. As well, research has shown that “the farm animal sector is…contributing to many environmental problems…” (Koneswaran and Nierenberg, 2007).

Since TBL focused most on food consumption, though, let me do the same. The consumption of meat products is being linked with increases in heart disease and certain types of cancer.

  • “Increased consumption of processed meat is associated with an increased risk of stomach cancer,” (Larsson, Orsini and Wolk, 2006).
  • “Many Americans have no idea that eating hot dogs and bacon raises their risk of this deadly disease. Even a few servings of processed meat a week can increase cancer danger,” said Susan Levin, M.S., R.D., nutrition education director for the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, (PCRM, 3/13/2012).
  • “The evidence that consuming high amounts of red and processed meats increases the risk of colon and rectal cancers is considered convincing,” said Marji McCullough, the American Cancer Society’s strategic director of nutritional epidemiology, (Chicago Tribune, 3/13/2012).

None of us will live forever, but it is the quality of the lives we live and the aggregate burden we leave for the future that matters most.

See more cartoons from Natural News.

UPDATE: Since initially publishing the post, The Blurred Line has expanded the content to include more myopic dribble, including a reference to “Islanic jihadists.” If you’d like to use your time more wisely, try checking out Stop Hitting Your Brother‘s run down of mock meats.